I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Why are your pants in the freezer?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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