are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Randomize