Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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