the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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