brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
