A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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