Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
