By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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