Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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