yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
