Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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