I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
