Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
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Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
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We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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