i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
