his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Randomize
