PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
