The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
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