hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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