Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
BRING THE BAGELS
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
