new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
