I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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