brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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