I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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