When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
