In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
