Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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