with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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