Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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