If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Drunk walkin through police station. America
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
