Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Mom said you looked used
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I AM VODKA MAN
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
