Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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