I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize