I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
