Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
