You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
