It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
