just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
