Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
