I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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