We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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