a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize