im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
