Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
