i barfeds in our rink
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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