dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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