smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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