Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
