I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
