you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
