I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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