I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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