batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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