dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
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