At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
my god I love twenty year old dicks
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
