The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Randomize
