Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
