when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
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