Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
