You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
