i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.