Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
