Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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