4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots