Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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