this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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