mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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