My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
