oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
