Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
