We won't sleep together?
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
