You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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